PARENTS! WE SHOULD BE TALKING WITH OUR CHILDREN *

Following my talk on parenting last week with the Nigerian Muslim Community in Scotland, I emphasized that as parents, our roles within the family unit in relation to protecting and Safeguarding our children is one of the objectives/principles behind the Islamic Shariah. The preservation of family, because family shares values that are similar in some ways which Allah (SWT) Has placed on our shoulders to be nurtured and improved in the process of rearing our children.
In sura Taghabun ayah 14 “O you who believe! Verily, among your wives and your children there are enemies for you, therefore, beware of them! Your wealth and your children are only a trial, whereas with Allah! is a great reward.”
And also prophet Muhammad (SAW) also warned us that we are all shepherds and we shall be asked how we flocked our sheep.
Our world today is fast growing and children are growing faster with the world too. They learn a lot from their peers through friendship and at the same time, many children are suffering in silence due to several challenges that they are facing.
We shouldn’t forget the fact that all children are born on fitra that is pure, we all have the responsibility to lead and guide them with kindness and mercy. We should also remember that as they’re growing up their needs change and we should tailor these needs based on individuals because of individual differences. Children need to be heard, especially when they are 8, 9, 10, and going into adolescents and even up to the age of 22 years old. This is because children’s brains are not fully developed until they are 21 or thereabouts, so they need our warmth, they want us to listen actively, they need our empathic understanding and they want us to be open-minded with them.
During the life of Umar (RA), a boy went to him to make inquiries about his rights from his parents, Umar mentioned that parents should be selective when choosing their spouse so that they would have good offsprings, then the choice of good names to be given to their children and the first education to be given to the children should be the knowledge of the Quran. Immediately Umar got to that point, the boy stood up and interrupted Umar that his father had not fulfilled any of the obligations. Therefore, as a way of solving the problem, Umar intervened by educating the father in order to correct his mistakes.
It is very obvious as we all know that every aspect of our life is covered in Islam. Good family relationships will foster a good atmosphere within our homes and will automatically be transferred to how we relate with our children. When there is love and harmony within homes, this will form a solid foundation. Consequently, the products from such homes will make a good community. Allah Encouraged us to do good…Q4:36.
May Allah bless us with righteous children that will be an apple of our eyes and make them beneficial positively to the Ummah. Aameen 🤲